Totoro

 i remembered a few somethings and i dont feel like figuring out where to put the update in the other one, BUTTTTT, despite me being just abt 16 (i turn 16 in march :DDD) ive had abt 7(?) exes, 2 of which were guys (which are now, uh, 17-18 or above..), 1 of which was. nonbinary, and the last four were all girls. NOWNOW KEEP IN MIND, NEARLY ALL OF THEM EXCEPT THE LAST THREE WERE WHEN I USED DISCORD RELIGIOUSLY, IVE ONLY EVER HAD ONE PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP. i met the one just before my last at a mental hospital so idk what thatd be, she lived like 30-45 mins from me. in order it goes 2 months, 5 months, and 7 months. ironically enough its also chronologically ordered. in every relationship i got used sexually in some manner, the last one was the worst for me since it ended up becoming physical. because of all the shit that happened  (not saying here cause its publiccccccc) its insanely hard for me to let partners in. and now for the less sad and vent-y part; i will always help t...

so i, stupidly, have my last ex unblocked on instagram still, i kept her unblocked after i broke up with her as a sign of respect and for anything important. ever since we broke up she has abused the fact i keep her unblocked. now, we dated for about 7 months, i wont get into the reasons i broke up with her because that feels like a kinda shitty thing to do, but i will say i almost tried committing before i ended it. BUT, after 3-4 months i finally got a fucking break. and then she reaches out for a conversation then gets pissed off when i didnt wanna have one. did i purposefully be a dick? yes, she made me suicidal again despite 2 mental hospitals, and ive made it abundantly clear that i dont wanna speak to her unless its an urgent matter. what constitutes an urgent matter? fuck if i know but it will be obvious once one DOES occur. i dont want to keep he runblocked, id be filled with an immense amount of joy if i could block her completely, but nooooooo. shes neighbors with my one goo...

since i feel this is necessary; i shall be doing it hi!! im shaughn, my display name is usually totoro on any platform, hence the name of this domain and the name i chose for the blog owner thing. im going to a tech school right now to learn HVAC/R, i am in my first year of it out of three. im almost 16, have about ten cats (four at my dads and six at my moms), one snake (my beautiful basil) and two leopard geckos that look like raw chicken breasts. i enjoy watching anime, reading manga or webcomics/manghwa, and am overall just a huge nerd. i LOVE dc comics, specifically batman and the whole collection of robins, i like marvel aswell but not as much. i love sharks like a dog loved its owner. they are one of the most precious lifeforms andni will do anything to own one some day. when i am in love its easy to tell, and when i truly feel loved is when ill become obsessive and clingy (yesyes ikik weird as hell for a guy but shushhhh). uhhhh thats it for now!! ill probably upd this later on...

 also who the hell is actually looking here, let alone like 500 some people coming here since i made it i JUST put the link on my tiktok bio where did any of you come from

im genuinely so annoyed, my one acquaintance (who we shall call b) is dating and talking to this ADULT MAN who is at least 21 bc she is buying her booze, and now im in the middle of it all? now keep in mind we are each about 16 and she is a total whore. she sells her body out for drugs and alcohol, and boasts about taking some freshmans virginity. but, she got her laptop and nic taken away, and then spammed my SCHOOL EMAIL to get me on a google meet so i could text her baby daddy for her? now keep in mind, this is a WHITE man, about as white as paper, blonde hair in dreads for some reason lookin like predator from alien vs predator. EXCEPT HE IS A PREDATORRRR. but i had to be their bridge of communication to get him to her house and just some weird and cryptic ass shit. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. i saw her in school today, and she was COVERED in hickeys. and i know i mentioned this but she will gladly sell her body for drugs, money, booze, whatever. she let some guy hit so she cou...

 theres this one SUPERRRR pretty girl im trying to tslk to and she is genuinely like, drop dead gorgeous. despute only knowing her for like 4(?) days at this point, i already remember her birthday, favorite anime, favorite dan da dan character, her favorite show, her birds name, and that she is going to nursing school right now either 10 mins from me or an hour away. i really dont wanna fuck this up or have a repeat of my last relationship, so im trying my hardest to get to know her as a person so there is something i can truly love without debate. i dont care how long it takes im gonna keep on trying until one of these happen; her and i start dating, she gets with someone else, pr i give up because i feel bad.